Wednesday, November 2, 2011

“You Killed Me Alive!! But I Have To Resurrect..." (penned on sun,sep 18,2011 at 3:02am)

I will Resurrect in the Power of Words

 I can feel the curiosity on you, my readers, while pondering the title of this write-up. There must be certainly some interest more than the usual. You would be in guess about that man or the relationship, which would have probably gone wrong in my life.Recently, I heard so many ‘voices’ reminding me “You have to be careful in your writing. You are an unmarried girl, and you shall not disclose lot.”  Yes “I am very much an unmarried girl of 25”. I dare to say it aloud. But what has it do with my writing. The ‘voices’ are senseless. The world is not prejudiced but only the souls living in it. And for you the ‘voices’ here  I have, “Come on, it is high time you have to come out of the shell’.

Considering the experiences I had & have for the last few days, I could not help other than to sit and ponder over the sensitive term, ‘Zaindae Morthuss’. Well, it is of Kashmiri origin, a phrase which is mostly used when someone dear to you does something that upsets you.  An expression which best describes the act of someone that gives you intolerable pain. Interestingly, its’ English transliteration is “You Killed Me Alive”..

It is been long time I have been thinking to write something with bulleted points. Here I have something….
 The recent times I got hurt or ‘killed alive’.. When…………….
  •   I was told by my mom that I am not loving he
  •    I was told, “Don’t go to theatre and watch movie with bad crowd. Keep up your    prestige”
  •  I was told by one of my students’  that she is being abused by her step father
  • I had seen a little angel girl  begging in train, with whom I feel ‘connected
  • My  most pampered kittens are killed by Satan but taken by God
  •  I was starred at, very badly by a devil in the 2nd street
  •      I was told by somebody that  ‘comfort is gone’ and the ‘bond is broke’
  •    I am being bugged by some ‘mongers’ in the Department and I really had to control myself react
  •  I was reminded by some one that I am a Research Scholar and hence to talk ‘wise'
  •  My most ‘favorite music player’ is stolen by another person
Yes….!! And Now what….???!! Have you ever experienced this??
 It started in a petty quarrel.  No one accepted the blame. You had grown too emotional and thrown away, what all you got in hand. Your inner consciousness told you “BEHAVE”.  He has broken your TRUST.  You wanted reconciliation, but he was not interested. You gave him forgiveness, which he ignored to care. At the same time, you saw on his face, he felt bad for hurting you. He was unreasonable and no longer wants to be with you.  Now you want to get out of your emotional trauma...Not necessarily that HE has to be your lover. But he can be a person whom you respect, care  and keep close to heart...

The day is like a road journey and now I have reached the end of it. Now I don’t have anything do other than to move my pen. I sit on the edge of my journey and reminisce, how it was.. I am doing it knowingly or unknowingly. I have decided to stop thinking about myself too much. It doesn’t feel really good. I don’t want to cry anymore this week.I know not to fight silence with silence. So I write. I love words. Let me get solace out of it. Let it take away the pain out of my chest. I want to stab YOU, guys with my pen and pour ink on YOU for killing me alive. But I am not able to do that. I think I love and respect YOU, at least one of YOU, among both..Yes, you killed me alive. But now I want to  resurrect. I want to rise. I  can do all this with my passion of WORDs.
 The Bible says
 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
( John 1:1-5) . Yes, I believe this and I can do anything in the POWER of words. The words strengthen me...
 Now ,I am getting the glance of blue sky, hearing the rhythm of wind and very much feel the magic of melodies.The three most interesting things of my life,  at which, I shut the door closed for a day.A big NO to fall...!!Even if you struck me down, I have to fly...fly high...


3 comments:

  1. nicely penned...power of word ..power of silence ..power of gudbye...power of writing :D...

    Hair Hair Hair

    ReplyDelete
  2. Geeta Singh - Thank you so much :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. chechi,voice of ur words are powerful enough to kill ur murderers....!

    ReplyDelete

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