Two years ago...

Two years ago, there was someone in me who had given me the insight that I can write words which are unstated, unheard and unwanted...Two years ago, there was someone in me who introduced me to the beautiful atmosphere of blogosphere...

Two years ago, there was someone in me who made me realize that I have a pen which can weave magic through words...

Two years ago, there was someone in me who told me that I have the ability to create a blog by my own and design its header and template by myself...

Two years ago, there was that someone in me

 But, today she has become someone else...

I miss that someone and sometimes I miss being me

Two years ago, I started making the most amazing friends...

Two years ago, this day October 15th that wonderful thing happened to me..

Yes....this blog.

Today,

it crossed 44,581 page views, 76 followers, 57 posts, 5 Tangy Tuesday picks by Blogadda, 3 blogger awards and one notable newbie award, I know numbers do matters.  Still there are some things which are beyond those numbers. You just can’t limit it always.

When I am here, I know I am at the most comfortable corner of my life next to home. It still can lift up my spirits when I am down. It can keep up my sanity and insanity. It can make me shed tears and smile at the same time. It can put me in chaos as well as peace. It can let me experience love as well as hatred. It can make me what I am and also someone else.  It is a sentimental milestone and I am just crossing it over. Now I know, I can get obsessed not only with people...but also those objects and some corners. And my blog is definitely one among them. I love this feeling because it just helps me to be at myself. No matter how good or bad I am, some things make sense and the rest just don’t...

Happy Birthday my dear ‘Stream of my Consciousness’. Happy Blogoversary...

 You have  just turned two . My baby is growing up. Love you.

A big and heartfelt thank you to all my readers, followers and my dearest pet cat who is on the right hand corner of my blog.. chakki :-)

Many more smiles and love to my dearest and ever supportive facebook friends and followers.

Thank You dears....

Love

Peace

Hugs

Come along with me..Let's get out of the town...

    Come along with me. Let’s get out of this town and move away from the crowd. Sit beside me and we'll look out at all the new landscapes, the rain and sunsets with a smile. Within a few more hours we will be there. Yes, that beautiful countryside where we can saunter along the river and scribble our story on the good old green trees. Let’s photograph those statues and people who can’t recognize us.Let it be a land where we deserve to be fearless of our love. I want to wander with you and see the new things, we had never seen before. I want to walk next to you down roads we've never walked on before.

 

   Let's go for long walks and spend some time near those desolated paths covered of green leaves. And when I sing back to cuckoo’s song holding your hands; don’t forget to say that you love me more. Take me to the sunlight and admire the purple color of my hair.  So come and sit on the top of rocks along with me.  Show me the palm trees I love and get me the flowers to decorate my hair. We will have ‘open eyes’, lots of music in our playist and a handful of walnuts to munch along. Let us feel the grass beneath our feet and see the sky overhead tasting the coffee made by someone else. When you take me to the old stone church, let us light together the candles to perceive truths and beauty that we could not perceive before. And while we return to our stay, point it out to me the distant lanterns hanging in front of small huts and say, there is so much of love and life in the breeze. 

 

   Take me to the top of building and show me the stars. Then, we will dance in the moonlight and sit back for a glass of wine. We know, lots of nights – foreign and new are waiting for us. When we are done with our fill of music, wine and conversation with strangers, we will come back to our tiny beds and fresh sheets. Make love with me crazily out there, feel every inch and curve of my body that let my soul meet and merge with your soul. And when you do that, a tear drop may sprung up on the edges of eyes, wipe it off and whisper in my ears that you love me much more than before.Allow me to sleep inside your arms like a baby at my utmost state of sanity.We’ll sleep knowing there will be breakfast and coffee in the morning, and I just want to explore with you.

   We travel lot and, let us stop at the tea stalls and have few words with truck drivers who have miles to go. We will stop at every nook and corner to cherish the beauty of everything we pass. Let us be lovers, companions, adventurers, pioneers and witnesses of God. We won't talk. We won't touch. We'll just be there. There will be so much of divinity in that silence. And there will be lot of love around.

   Come do all these with me, you and I, for time is short and short is the time. . I want to walk next to you down roads we’ve never walked on before and hear words we’ve never heard spoken before. Let’s remember to forget and forget to remember. Let’s touch the sky and kiss the ground and weep while we laugh because you mean so much while the world can mean so little. Ultimately, leave some space between You and I that let heavens come and fill it off... 

 Peace,

 Contentment,
 Love,
 and much more.... 

Senseless....

    Of all the men around, the eyes of him were the ones mine caught. His voice, it was transiting me to another world...a world which existed only in reveries. It still wonders, why did I remember the voice so distinctly? I have heard tales of fires in the wettest forest. I was always in love with the phenomenon of attracting opposites – always thinking of what couldn’t be. Was the heart beating fast with some unknown feeling? Or was it just an overreaction? Strange were the ways.Yet I smiled to myself...

   I spoke less words and he took away all the meaning.  Earth seemed to be little brighter than before. I began to see volumes of stories in the changing shades of sky. I wanted to compile everything and write as an epic, which never ends...I saw unwashed portraits in the sand – under those salty waters which washed my feet. The portrait was none. But its blankness had a kick. And I stared it again and again...

   He was those meaningless symbols I found in each and everything. He was the moon in my blackest coffee. We were those white cigarettes turning into ashes. There was lot of silence. There was lot of colourlessness. But I knew the fire was burning inside and there was light. We flirted like fingers changing the swirly path of smoke without any barriers to cross, thinking that it would never be intrusive. Still, the smoke was all in the air and ashes were accumulated to the fingertips...

   He slept and I sat watching. Was he dreaming? Was I anywhere in it?  The happiness was all in wait and knowing that was the happiness.Inside the bag, there laid my diary and blue ink pen. But I poured the ink drops inside a glass of water. And when it began to float inside, he woke up from his slumber.I wanted to feel the moonlight dancing on our skin on a cold night. His breath must tickle my nape and I wanted to get lost. I felt, happiness was not anything more than those voiceless laughs and whispers.  Or was it an illusion? The comfort was nothing other than his shadow, wherever I fall...

 Dreamy corner of nature, the murmuring river, the illuminated sky, matured night,smiling full moon, yellowness, candle light , two long curvy glasses,you, me and a bottle of red wine with love and much more...

Clothes – Does it make sense?

 

Once upon a time, she loved the sea and it loved her back...

 P.S : There is a beautiful story, 'Kodathividhikkappuram' written by my favourite writer, P.Padmarajan which gave me the insight to plot this post.In the story, there is a male chauvinist who murders the heroine each time she tries to rise up. Here the words 'murder', 'stabbing' doesn't have a literal meaning but it means figuratively...

   
    A strengthening breeze parted the clouds, allowing the moonlight to glint over the sea. And there on the ground, she was lying with her stabbed wounds bleeding profusely. Swirling around in pain with the blood all over her body, when a breeze touched her so tenderly, she began to feel herself better. After sixty minutes of time, she brought her head up sharply and opened her eyes wide to get a clear vision of the surroundings and of the man.  Slowly she began to rise up. She looked straight, there she saw him standing on the edge, watching the waves of the sea washing off the shore. She looked above and saw the same moonlight, yes that same moonlight under which they had their first kiss. 

   Fluttering away the hurts he had caused in the sea breeze, smiling to the beautiful memories, he had given her, she called his name with all the affections and love once again in her lightest voice, "Raj......................." Yes, it echoed! The search light touched the shore. The breeze was moving cool and careless. Still with those uncured wounds reminding her pain each and every second, but forgetting that it is he who stabbed her, forgetting that it is he who gave her that worst-est pain, she expressed her love for one more time.

   Turning behind to her call, he moved her side,pulled her inside his arms, kissed her on the forehead and uttered those finest words,  "What Honey...!! Does it pain? I am sorry dear. I still love you... ". As if awaken to a reverie,she hugged him tight, tightly to her soul, holding on to him with all the physical pain of her body which  was long enough to convey him that she has forgiven him.

And now
The sea was calm...
And so was her heart. 
But again..., 

...even before the next breeze has reached its direction, even before that beautiful smile has blown off from her cheeks, he pushed her aside,quite heartlessly and aggressively. With tears rolling down her eyes, she fell down on the shore. And, before she was trying to rise up, he reached her with a heart breaking voice, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed and repeatedly stabbed. The wounds were bleeding in her arms, her abdomen like a river, unknowing its destination. Knowing that, his next direction will be on to her chest, she wanted to get up and run away..With roaring pain bleeding so deep through her body, she got up from the ground trying to run away from the place but again the devil in him had chased her. 

   However far she had gone, her distance was very less. She moved but could not move  on.And he realized it well, however he ill-treat her or threaten her, she always surrender before him. And every time she tried to get up, he stabbed her with his sharp edged knife. Finally, his destination has reached..yes,her chest - he stabbed her wildly, furiously without pulling out the knife from her body. He kept it fixed on her chest. He wanted it to be. Thus leaving the knife to be blunt on her chest forever, he walked away...out of her sight...out of her life. 

  Her chest felt its sharp edges. She wanted to be cured. But she was unable to pull the knife outside her chest,or push it inside. Because she knew pushing it inside will cause her more injuries but pulling it out will be her death.So she left it to rest on her chest ever and forever. She knew, it was his knife...his touch, his finger prints rest on it...

And from then, she remained to lie on the ground bleeding, with her senses filled with taste of bile, that sickening smell of the blood and the burning flesh. Still, she could not let him out of her mind and body. She still felt the sweet smell of his Arabian perfume which the breeze had brought to her, despite of her intolerable pain... She lied down there , right there without moving her body an inch,waiting and hoping  for the waves to wash her from the shore.

Years passed, many sunsets had gone by, many sunrises had come,

the waves came, the waves went. 
But she still lies there, facing the sea,

her body sculpted on the shore with her beautiful curves,
projecting tall and wide
facing the sea, like a mermaid 
but towered as a mountain,
burying her pains in the sea, with her salty tears along with the salty waves 

on the shore.
but as the sea 

Here she still lies as the mountain facing the sea, tall, dark yet as beautiful as she was... 
Because once upon a time she loved the sea and it loved her back..