Saturday, January 21, 2012

Missed call

As she sits on her chair watching the rain down pour and sipping her coffee, there is a beep sound at which her heart skipped a beat. It is a moment of realization that a beep is not just a beep; it is more than a text message alert. She felt a reciprocal beep, an echo inside her heart. It is bringing her a pain thumping from the chest, flowing on to other parts of her body and getting onto her head. A pain from the heart which can destroy her brain. It gives her a realization that, soon she would walk on the street scratching her head, murmuring at people, becoming a mad lady, getting all the stare of the crowd.

She gazes at the device with lot of expectation. But the message is not his. She is not disappointed. She knows about her next move. She took  His number on her mobile, looked at it, all in silence and now she knows,  it is    the moment to press CALL button. It takes a lot of effort for this small action because she is aware of the possible consequences of it. As soon as the first ring reached her ears, she kept the device away. The feeling is familiar to her. Every time, she calls him, she gets the pain, an anxiety gripping into her stomach. Yes...! she has the fear of getting hurt.What will she tell him, if he picks up her call? What does she share to make him stay online, without an immediate hang up? She has no answers for all this.

Imagination can takes one everywhere. Imagination can be a blessing as well as a curse. All of a sudden, an abysmal thought began to haunt her. She imagined him sitting in his room, reading a book and probably sipping his tea (as she does). His mobile flashes to her name on the screen and she can foresee the expression on his face - looking onto the device as a nuisance and staying unresponsive. 

Now, once again she regretted  at her decision to press the CALL button His silence is cutting her soul into pieces. Nothing more than it would upset her  as she calls him and he does not answer her. Now again, one another missed call to his  call list, which is just mean and cheap. She smiled to herself. Now she has realized it, whenever she calls him, he is not going to pick up her call. The truth is that she doesn't want him to. She is finding a weird pleasure in repeating the episode over and again, just for nothing but to get hurt and smile to herself.

 Everything changes. The only thing that has not changed is that she still calls him, just to remind him about her survival and to live inside his mobile as a missed call. The thought keeps her happy and awake. She is his missed call, a call which he has missed and lost for no reasons. By the end of the day, the loss is only his. It does not bring her any disappointments. It has become a habit now. She calls him and when the expected happens, she enjoys taking up those little doses of hurt that he gives her. Now when her mobile rings, she does silence the ring and enjoy the name of callers flashing on her mobile. 

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