Saturday, January 21, 2012

Missed call

As she sits on her chair watching the rain down pour and sipping her coffee, there is a beep sound at which her heart skipped a beat. It is a moment of realization that a beep is not just a beep; it is more than a text message alert. She felt a reciprocal beep, an echo inside her heart. It is bringing her a pain thumping from the chest, flowing on to other parts of her body and getting onto her head. A pain from the heart which can destroy her brain. It gives her a realization that, soon she would walk on the street scratching her head, murmuring at people, becoming a mad lady, getting all the stare of the crowd.

She gazes at the device with lot of expectation. But the message is not his. She is not disappointed. She knows about her next move. She took  His number on her mobile, looked at it, all in silence and now she knows,  it is    the moment to press CALL button. It takes a lot of effort for this small action because she is aware of the possible consequences of it. As soon as the first ring reached her ears, she kept the device away. The feeling is familiar to her. Every time, she calls him, she gets the pain, an anxiety gripping into her stomach. Yes...! she has the fear of getting hurt.What will she tell him, if he picks up her call? What does she share to make him stay online, without an immediate hang up? She has no answers for all this.

Imagination can takes one everywhere. Imagination can be a blessing as well as a curse. All of a sudden, an abysmal thought began to haunt her. She imagined him sitting in his room, reading a book and probably sipping his tea (as she does). His mobile flashes to her name on the screen and she can foresee the expression on his face - looking onto the device as a nuisance and staying unresponsive. 

Now, once again she regretted  at her decision to press the CALL button His silence is cutting her soul into pieces. Nothing more than it would upset her  as she calls him and he does not answer her. Now again, one another missed call to his  call list, which is just mean and cheap. She smiled to herself. Now she has realized it, whenever she calls him, he is not going to pick up her call. The truth is that she doesn't want him to. She is finding a weird pleasure in repeating the episode over and again, just for nothing but to get hurt and smile to herself.

 Everything changes. The only thing that has not changed is that she still calls him, just to remind him about her survival and to live inside his mobile as a missed call. The thought keeps her happy and awake. She is his missed call, a call which he has missed and lost for no reasons. By the end of the day, the loss is only his. It does not bring her any disappointments. It has become a habit now. She calls him and when the expected happens, she enjoys taking up those little doses of hurt that he gives her. Now when her mobile rings, she does silence the ring and enjoy the name of callers flashing on her mobile. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

And such WHY's keep the LIFE going

Why do we believe in God, when we don’t see or touch Him?
Why do we bond with few people without knowing who they are?
Why do we fear dark, when we can’t see anything other than black? 
Why do we fall in love, when we know that love exists only in dreams?
Why do we stare out at the window, even when
 nobody is there to be awaited for?
Why do we stop by woods, when we know we have miles to cover?
Why do we hurt our loved ones, when we know
we have intense love for them?
Why do we listen to rain drops and make a smile to ourselves?
Why do we skip beats, when he/she does not respond at the right moment?
 Why do we admire characters, when we know that it is only someone’s reverie?
Why do we call it magical, when we know magic does not exist?
Why do we tingle the touch-me-not, when we know it shrinks?
Why do we smile when we see a school going kid struggle with his 
water bottle and bag?
Why do we smile back when we know some of the smiles are cynical?
Why do we wear clean whites and play in the mud pool?
Why do we stare at the sun, till it hides leaving blotches in black?
Why the coffee cup does stay warm, when rain pours out heavily?
Why do we hum to a tune, when we feel the breeze is nice?
Why do we think of mom, when we are told about  food?
Why do we whisper to cats, when we know that we would get only some winks?
Why do we ask few questions again and again to which we already know the answers?
Why do we search for ourselves, when we know we are already lost?
Wonderful are such WHY's to wonder at
That is what LIFE is all about
Set in search of unheard voices, untold tales and certain uncertainties
Life is always beautiful
Let us peep out from the right corner of window
Ask questions
Feel answerless
&
Stay weird

 And I wonder, WHY did I add this picture! :)

Monday, January 16, 2012

Unedited


Silence tonight

I know, nothing is going to be changed overnight. Your absence is not going to make a bit difference for I know you will be back with a knock on the door and I will serve your morning tea.   

The distance is nothing above our ‘journey to the bond’. But, deep inside it sounds as a sigh and drives me to a perfect emptiness. Interestingly, it serves as one more leaflet to be  added to the Book of Bond

 The space is empty and lone. No lights, no sounds, no life.   I can’t stay back there alone after you have left. The DISTANCE is less…lesser than we had ever expected. Yet, I can’t watch the DISTANCE . It is the distance between you and me. All I want to do is a shut down, a disconnection and  hence to love the ‘silence’ tonight.As much as we mean to each other, I get into this night and love its silence

 Come to HOME safely and let me break all my silence like the wind. I know, there will be a knock on the door and it will be YOU. I will feel all of YOU…and it will be all about us. 


P.S:   Stray thoughts while closing the doors shut. Call it raw, smell it  
           unedited ,drive weird and go crazy :) lol



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