Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Adieu 2013

It is like...
the last page of my diary, 
the final chapter of a great book which is never looked back, 
the action of turning a page, 
of ending a chapter, 
of shutting a book..
Can we forget the last day of summer, the leaves fall, some goodbyes and the year 2013???

    It is that time of the year again.  It is the time of the year which I love the most. It is the time to sit back and smile down to those old memories while waiting for the new ones. As much as I disliked endings, today I believe in happy endings. Something or other has to end for the rest of things to remain happy. 

   While the year 2013 moves beside and paves way for 2014, I foresee not the end but the happiness after it ends. Every end is not an end. It is a new beginning to keep you, me and them happy. We may sigh, we may regret and a little part of us may ache too. But still we manage to smile...

To me 2013 was all about waiting. I submitted my 411 pages of Doctoral Dissertation on January 28th of 2013 and since now, I have been waiting for my viva. In fact, for the first time in my life, I began to earn and start working as a Lecturer in my own home department of our University. Of course, that matters lot to me. I got a set of students whom I can call as friends and I got a set of colleagues with whom I can comfortably work as they are my own teachers.  And above all, I mastered that art...that very art of wearing sarees and I am crazy about collecting them. 

And indeed, it was the year

 of forgetting some dreams which are not worthy to be dreamt,
 of distorting some faces which are not worthy to be remembered,
 of pursuing goals which are worthier than life, of believing in them fully,
 of doing what I really love,
 of overcoming the fear of failure,
 of colours, glitters and broken bangles,
 of geometric designed sarees and matching blouses,
 of eyeliners smudged and tears
 of gloominess, hair colours and nail polishes
 of  coffee mugs, chilled bottles and dim lighted bars

   Yes, I know that I am weird. But I can’t help it. I have a tendency to dress up utmost on the day I am utmost gloomy. I handle classes with utmost spirit on the day I am utmost stressed. It is mysterious. I laugh out at the peak of my voice during mornings and I weep out my heart like a baby on that very evening. I wonder how EVERYTHING can fall right and fall apart within fraction of seconds. 

  It was not 2013 but it was the edge of my life. I was happy and sad. I laughed and cried. I loved and at the same time hated. I decided and undecided. I began and ended. I obeyed and disobeyed. I taught my students and at the same time, I misguided them. I was beautiful and I was not so beautiful. I was honest and I was dishonest. I wrote pages of love and burned it all in fire. I created and I murdered.

    That in the end, the year 2013 taught me how to be immune to everything and to adopt my own set of defense mechanisms. Yes, it taught me how to survive  with and without everything. And, I have mastered the art beautifully...I see my facebook timeline of the year  2013. It has been tiresome but it has been equally fruitful.  It is freaky. 

   Yes, the very I...Ashitha became a person of mesmerising paradox. I sworn and lied at the same time. I did so because I do not want anyone to understand me. I do not want to be that story which you read, enjoy and forget. But I want to be that story which you start thinking about after you close down the book...

So here I pledge to LIVE-2014. 
A very Happy New Year to all you beautiful people !

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