It is like...
the last page of my diary,
the final chapter of a great book which is
never looked back,
the action of turning a page,
of ending a chapter,
of
shutting a book..
Can we forget the last day of summer, the leaves fall, some
goodbyes and the year 2013???
It is that time of the year
again. It is the time of the year which
I love the most. It is the time to sit back and smile down to those old
memories while waiting for the new ones. As much as I disliked endings, today I
believe in happy endings. Something or other has to end for the rest of things
to remain happy.
While the year 2013 moves beside and
paves way for 2014, I foresee not the end but the happiness after it ends.
Every end is not an end. It is a new beginning to keep you, me and them happy.
We may sigh, we may regret and a little part of us may ache too. But still we
manage to smile...
To me 2013 was all about waiting. I submitted my
411 pages of Doctoral Dissertation on January 28th of 2013 and since
now, I have been waiting for my viva. In fact, for the first time in my life, I
began to earn and start working as a Lecturer in my own home department of our
University. Of course, that matters lot to me. I got a set of students whom I
can call as friends and I got a set of colleagues with whom I can comfortably
work as they are my own teachers. And
above all, I mastered that art...that very art of wearing sarees and I am crazy
about collecting them.
And indeed, it was the year
of forgetting some dreams which are not
worthy to be dreamt,
of distorting some faces which are not worthy
to be remembered,
of pursuing goals which are worthier than
life, of believing in them fully,
of doing what I really love,
of
overcoming the fear of failure,
of colours,
glitters and broken bangles,
of geometric designed sarees and matching
blouses,
of eyeliners smudged and tears
of gloominess, hair colours and nail polishes
of
coffee mugs, chilled bottles and dim lighted bars
Yes, I know that I am weird. But I
can’t help it. I have a tendency to dress up utmost on the day I am utmost
gloomy. I handle classes with utmost spirit on the day I am utmost stressed. It
is mysterious. I laugh out at the peak of my voice during mornings and I weep
out my heart like a baby on that very evening. I wonder how EVERYTHING can fall
right and fall apart within fraction of seconds.
It was not 2013 but it was the edge of my
life. I was happy and sad. I laughed and cried. I loved and at the same time
hated. I decided and undecided. I began and ended. I obeyed and disobeyed. I
taught my students and at the same time, I misguided them. I was beautiful and
I was not so beautiful. I was honest and I was dishonest. I wrote pages of love
and burned it all in fire. I created and I murdered.
That in the end, the year 2013
taught me how to be immune to everything and to adopt my own set of defense
mechanisms. Yes, it taught me how to survive
with and without everything. And, I have mastered the art beautifully...I see my facebook timeline of the year 2013. It has been tiresome but it has been
equally fruitful. It is freaky.
Yes, the very I...Ashitha became a
person of mesmerising paradox. I sworn and lied at the same time. I did so
because I do not want anyone to understand me. I do not want to be that story
which you read, enjoy and forget. But I want to be that story which you start
thinking about after you close down the book...
So here I pledge to LIVE-2014.
A very Happy New Year to all you beautiful people !
